It's like God shit irony all over that family
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
