ugly people sure do ruin things
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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