she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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