Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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