i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
