Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
