Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
