I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize