dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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