cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
