Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I deserve this hangover.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
