what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
