ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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