what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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