you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Come on in and take your pants off
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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