You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
