All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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