My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
