i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize