apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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