check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
