make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
