i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Jerry, you need to find god
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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