You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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