She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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