none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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