I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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