As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
