I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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