I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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