I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
