I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
