What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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