the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
