I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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