Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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