I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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