she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
