is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
