; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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