There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
