We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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