I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize