HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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