i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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