No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
