You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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