I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
