that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
