my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
