lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
