If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
