I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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