are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I faked an abortion last night.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
