if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
