God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
