Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
