She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
