too bad you live with your parents still
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize