and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
