Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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