You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
