You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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